Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm at about main and main street
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
