i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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