You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
