I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
