OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
