My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
