before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize