just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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