I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
