Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize