he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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