As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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