false alarm. still invincible.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
