She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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