the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
