the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
worst night to have a conscience
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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