well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
