Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize