i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
