you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
