He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
