called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize