Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Are we still banned from the library?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize