found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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