she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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