Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
