Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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