Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
