You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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