He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
