Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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