He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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