16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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