wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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