What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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