Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
