i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the day after is always just damage control
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
