summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
