I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
