return my video game
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
