I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize