I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
