She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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