some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
