this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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