I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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