i don't like sucking hair
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
