Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize