1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
