i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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