I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize