1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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