Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
