This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he was CRYING into my vagina
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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